Friday, February 12, 2010

So this guy walks onto a bus . . .

http://www.grampasattic.ca/grampasattic/products/books/health.htm
(With modifications)

I've been riding transit for a long time. Anybody who has done that has stories to tell about the stuff they've seen. Most of the time transit is mundane and uneventful, just like driving. But every once in a while, something special happens that sticks with you.

This story is 100% not made up.

Many years ago, I was on a bus heading to Westwood. I was hanging out, minding my own business, sitting towards the back. I look around the bus, glancing briefly at the people inside. I notice somebody in front. He's sitting in one of those sideways seats that fold up for wheelchairs, so I can see more than the back of his head. Suddenly, I realize this guy's sporting an erection.

At first I wasn't sure. Is that just a fold in his pants that looks like a boner or is it the real thing? All sorts of thoughts started racing through my head (I should just mind my own business. What brought that on?, etc.) I look at the people around me and I realize they've seen it to. And they, like me, are trying not to look, but also trying to confirm whether or not this guy has really violated the social taboo against public erections, or if it's just a fold in his pants.

Even the bus driver saw it eventually.
Driver: "You got a hot date tonight?"
Man: . . .

He didn't say anything. Like, if he just played it cool, nobody would notice.

When he got to his stop he just got up, very nonchalant, like nothing had happened, and stepped out of the bus. Then, on the sidewalk, he shakes his pants around to, er, arrange himself.

I love transit. Just maybe not as much as that guy.

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